So she said to me...

"Are you recording this journey you're on? This is impressive, look how far you have come, look where you are going! It is SOMETHING"
And I replied "Yeah, kind of"

She has a point though.
This journey, my life, has changed me, and is somewhat only skin deep. You plant a seed, and it takes time for the roots to go down, for it to become established and bear fruit.

So. How far have I come?
12 months ago, I was eating crap, but training for a Duathlon. I was focused on the short term commitment to the event, and had little thought for the what comes next. I still weighed in at over 125kgs, was able to walk fast, but not really getting any momentum with the running. If I had a shite day, Mr Chocolate Bar would be me worst enemy and closest friend... and then would be consumed.
6 months ago, no longer exercising. Fatter. More sedentary, and happily eating with no care for tomorrow. Feeling depressed, out of control, ugly, fat, and uncomfortable.
3 months ago, getting ready for something to change.
9 weeks ago, I signed up for Weight Watchers. Online. I don't do meetings at the best of times. I decided that this was for me and only me. 1st goal was 5kgs, acheived in 3 weeks, and rewarded with ... a ... gosh I can't remember, but it was cool.
9 weeks ago, I could run about 250 metres, walk slowly for ages, and was unwilling to do more.
9 weeks ago, still feeling depressed, ugly, fat and uncomfortable, but no longer out of control. Weighed in at the doctors, weighed in at 130.5kgs.

So what has changed?
This morning I ran 3kms.
I weighed in yesterday morning at 114.5, and the trend is downwards.
I am in control. Because I am in control, I have perspective. I know that if I have a crap day there is no need to reach for a choccy bar because 1 it won't help, and 2 tomorrow is a new day, and so what if today was crappy? I don't feel depressed, ugly, fat and though am far from comfortable, i feel less uncomfortable.
I have a goal. It is FOR ME, no-one else. It is because I am worth fighting for, I am precious, I am of value, and in the past I didn't know it, and now... I am learning again what it means.

Enough for now.
Hope lives eternal.
N.